Moment of Darkness

topics.dirwell.com

I just screamed into my pillow, kicked the sheets off my bed, and slapped myself on the face a few times.  Yes, you heard me correctly, I slapped myself a few times. Why? It hurts and I don't know why. Maybe hoping to snap out of this place I was in, who knows..... I don't know anything about anything.  I feel like I have no control and the more I try to gain control the more I realize I never had it.  Pent up anger and frustration maybe even a dash of self-hatred in there. Doesn't sound like me, does it? I know its quite shocking. On days the house I stay in and the room I sleep in is a place of restful peace and on other days the room caves in on me and the house becomes a prison of loneliness, fear, and spinning thoughts. And on those days the only way I get free is to write.
Putting it all on paper.  Putting it all out there. Be vulnerable for all to know and for all to see.  Doesn't make sense, does it?  Yesterday hearing my friends tell me what they love about me and saying to myself---I do believe that.  I even have the nerve to encourage others not to speak ill of myself but look what I am doing or what I just did....I don't know where this came from...
This is the moment where I need Papa God's voice to be so real and clear right now....to hear the sound of His heart beat and His love towards me.

evolving.veddma.com

"Moment" Poem by: ME


"Key thing is moments do past. They past, they leave, they fade away....its not who I am or my identity...its just a moment of a slight fraction of time... by tomorrow I will soon forget and I will see the bright sunshine---a--gain. Like a tulip closed it buds from the sun --tomorrow it will rise with its petals high, towards the sky, full bloom and blossomed. By tomorrow the tears will have evaporated and the pain has turned into joy... it was just a moment that is gone.  by tomorrow the anger is a forgotten visitor and the depression that smiled at me says 'goodbye'.  it was just a moment that has past....it was an illusion, a flicker to see the true light, a kink in the wiring that caused the shadows to stay longer than it was suppose to.  Tomorrow is here, the moment has past, the sun has risen and that darkness didn't last.  Actually it has become non-existent....key word---it was a moment...."

zazzle.com